The Man Without
by Kit Spooner
Summary: Raven's empathy makes her an unwitting witness to the dreams of her teammates. And some dreams are best left unexplored. Rated for adult situations and language. RaeBB, RobStar. incomplete
1. In Dreams

Notes: I have no idea, but I'm fascinated by the strange relationships between the members of the Teen Titans. The show's one of my favorite American cartoons that's come out in the past few years. And there's a sad lack of coherent fanfiction for the show, so I figured I'd contribute, and add yet another incomplete fic to my repertoire. This story is intended to explore some of the themes of growing up that the show kind of touches upon occasionally. It's also centered around Beast Boy (who's absolutely adorable) and Raven (who's funny as hell, despite all her efforts). So for those of you who can't bear to see these two paired in any manner beyond platonic, this is probably not the story for you. I'm also looking for some serious feedback here and possibly someone very capable to do some beta-reading and editing for me. That is, of course, if I ever get around to writing the rest of this.

Oh, and this first chapter starts soon after the events of "The Beast Within" and is a response of a sort. There's also some dialogue ripped straight from the episode. It's the section in italics. I don't own it, 'kay?

Insert appropriate disclaimer here

**The Man Without**

Chapter 1 – In Dreams

April 8th

It wasn't until a few days after the Man-Beast Incident that Raven realized her mistake.

"Make way for Beast _Man_!" the green shifter crowed as he sauntered into the common room one morning.

"What the hell did you just call yourself, BB?" Cyborg asked, looking up from his skillet full of scrambling eggs.

"Oh, it's totally my new superhero name," Beast Boy replied, pulling open the fridge in search of some sort of soy-based protein. "I'm a man now," he added smugly.

"Says who?"

"Says Raven," Beast Boy replied with a smirk.

Silence descended upon the room as Cyborg, Starfire and Robin immediately turned to stare at Raven, who contemplated melding into the shadows and making a run for it.

"Raven?" Robin asked, sounding both amused and curious.

"What has happened that makes you consider Beast Boy a Beast Man now?" Starfire inquired. "Is there some sort of rite of passage that I have not been informed of?" She brightened. "If this is the case, then perhaps we should celebrate our friend's newfound manhood very soon, yes?"

Cyborg slammed a hand over his mouth and doubled over in a fit of choked laughter.

"I said nothing of the sort," Raven grated out.

"You did so!" Beast Boy rejoined. "You said I was all manly for suppressing the beast the other night and stuff!"

Raven's pale cheeks flushed suddenly. "I didn't mean it like that, you twit. I just meant that it was very adult of you to get control of your inner beast." She glanced sideways at her other teammates. "I didn't mean anything weird by it and I'm certainly not going to start calling you Beast Man either."

"Aw," said Beast Boy, looking woefully and falsely disconsolate.

"And I'm not calling you Beast Dude or Beast Guy or any of the other stupid names you came up with either," snapped Raven as she rose from the table, cradling her mug of tea in her hands.

"You're no fun," Beast Boy told her, his gaze catching and holding hers.

Raven felt strangely self-conscious with him staring at her like that, as though he could decipher the meaning of her blushes, so she pulled her hood forward to shadow her face and scurried away. Upon reaching her room, Raven locked the door behind her, set her tea on the night stand and flung herself down onto her bed.

_What an idiot he is,_ she thought in frustration. _He knows I didn't mean anything when I said that to him that night!_

Raven frowned as a paperweight on her desk exploded. "Guess that means I need to calm down," she murmured before folding herself into a lotus position and entering her meditative trance.

Once it became painfully obvious that she wouldn't be able to clear her mind of her irritation at her shape-shifting teammate, she realized that it was perhaps best that she try to sort out her tangled feelings in some sort of logical manner.

This was a bit of a tall order, however. Her friendship with Beast Boy had always been one of those things best left unanalyzed. Sure, she knew he had a lingering crush on her that had been leavened, but not entirely erased by his brief relationship with Terra. Of course she knew that he looked up to her as probably his closest friend and confidant. And it went without saying that he would never take advantage of her confusion over him.

But the fact remained that his presence baffled the hell out of her. Aside from his patiently flirtatious behavior, there were the dreams to consider.

Raven had never been completely honest to her friends about just how far-reaching her powers were. Since her arrival in the tower she'd been privy to occasional dream visits from various teammates. She never had any control over the dreams; instead she was dragged unwilling into at least one foreign dream every night. It was awkward, but still an admittedly great way of learning about just what made her friends tick.

Robin's dreams were rather as Raven would have expected. She was treated to what she could only assume were reruns of Robin's assorted escapades with Batman, who was apparently seven feet tall, could fly and regularly taunted Robin about his inefficiency. Sometimes Robin dreamed about the night his parents died and she would awake weeping and shaking and biting the inside of her cheek so hard it bled in an attempt to keep the shades of Sorrow and Anger at bay. Often Robin's dreams echoed the real world. Slade was a frequent visitor, though he often wore Robin's own face and ridiculed the Titans with Robin's own voice. Sometimes Robin would replay the memories of the days' fights and Raven would be treated to a play-by-play critique of everyone's technique. She liked the nights that featured these boring, mundane dreams, except for those that featured Starfire (and on occasion, Raven herself) wearing much less clothing than usual.

Robin was, after all, still quite young and at the peak of his manhood. Such dreams were to be expected, even if they were ultimately embarrassing for the unwilling outside viewer.

Cyborg's dreams were somehow even more predictable. They were full of workshops and metal. Even the scent of motor oil and heated plastics permeated the dreamscapes. Raven understood after witnessing a few of his madly constructive dreams why he sometimes awoke at 5 am and rushed to his workshop to tinker with something until noon. Cyborg's dreams were those of an artist, full of angles and bold washes of muted colors. The T-Car featured prominently in quite a few of these dreams. And fortunately, his dream women tended to be featureless archetypes, tall and full-figured and good with a wrench. He had recently started applying the face of Jinx to some of these fantasy females, however, something Raven found ultimately just as disturbing as his idle fantasies of herself in a lace teddy.

Surprisingly, Starfire's dreams were Raven's favorite. While it was obvious that Star loved her new home on Earth nearly as much as she loved the people she now lived with, nearly all her dreams took place on what Raven could only assume was Tamaran. The colors were different, the light cast by Vega was faintly bluish, rather than golden like the sun, and nights were much shorter. Starfire's dreams were populated by the Titans and a slew of tall, golden-skinned Tamaranians. In Starfire's dreams, there was no petty bickering among the teammates, and even dream-Raven was apt to proclaim her eternal love to any of the other Titans. Starfire's dreaming version of Raven was as cheerful as her pink-cloaked emotional archetype, Happy. It was during these gentle, sun-kissed dreams that Raven discovered just how much Starfire loved _all_ of her teammates. Star had, of course, the usual assortment of adolescent sex dreams, and while Robin was generally the star of such dreams, Raven herself appeared in them enough times to make it significant. Even Beast Boy and Cyborg occasionally showed up in the bedroom dreams, though not as frequently as even Raven herself did. Raven adored Starfire, no matter how much trouble she had showing it, and it was nice to be reassured that Starfire returned the sentiment, no matter how unconventionally.

It was Beast Boy's dreams that were the most disturbing to Raven, and the most persistent. She was dragged into one of his dreams nearly every night, quite against her will. His dreams frequently featured Raven, when they weren't fuzzy, golden memories from his childhood in Africa, and the Raven dreams weren't all romantic. Sometimes it was just the two of them battling shadowy villains on the streets of Jump City. Sometimes he was rescuing her from some madman. Occasionally she was rescuing him from a similar situation. Often they kissed afterwards, with the sweeping sound of violins in the background. Sometimes the dream melted into an adolescent bedroom romp that left Raven wide-eyed with the aftershocks of Beast Boy's pleasure. Sometimes the dreams featured a more animalistic Beast Boy, and the sex that followed was much the same. These dreams made Raven rather itchy herself, and likely to blush when she first saw Beast Boy the next morning. Fortunately, he never asked why she was so embarrassed around him on those mornings and she never volunteered the information.

What made Beast Boy's dreamscapes truly disturbing, however, was the trend that she noticed as the years passed. The Titans, like any other group of young people, struggled their way through puberty and into a sort of tentative adulthood. Robin gained a bit of height (though it was clear he would never match Bruce Wayne's stature) and some breadth in his shoulders. He was an exceptionally fine-looking young man, much to the delight of Starfire, who remained (particularly since her stint in her chrysalis) one of the most beautiful creatures anyone on Earth had ever seen. Cyborg didn't bother with growing up so much. He made a few upgrades to his systems and managed to somehow deepen his voice without the usual humorous cracking that generally took place. Raven herself had a rough time of puberty, but at the first sign of hormonal imbalance, she took a six-month sabbatical in Tibet, despite her friends' worries and Beast Boy's amusing attempt to stow away in her luggage as an emerald-green cockroach. In Tibet she faced a minor case of acne and some really strange dreams, but she returned home to Jump City feeling whole and ready to face crime or whatever followed.

What made Beast Boy odd, however, was that _he did not grow up_. He'd always been small and slight. But by the time he and the other Titans hit their eighteenth birthdays, he still looked like he was twelve, and a scrawny twelve at that. No one ever made an issue of this, as he was generally sensitive about his appearance. So he cheerfully continued to look and act like a child while the rest of his teammates settled into young adulthood.

His dreams, however . . . well, they told a different story altogether. Raven began noticing the subtle changes in Beast Boy's dream self. His face grew a bit spotty for a while, despite the fact that his waking self had some of the clearest skin she'd ever seen outside cosmetics commercials. Then the dream changeling had a couple growth spurts, the first one added several inches to his height, and the second left him even taller, with a sort of wiry musculature that Raven found oddly appealing. Dream Beast Boy was a little taller than Robin, even, though perhaps not as broad of shoulder or deep of chest. And his new features were narrow and sharp, his dark eyes deep-set and his smile just as ready as always. But he was different in those dreams. The somehow older dream boy was less joking, more reflective, though his devotion to Raven was still just as painfully obvious. Raven figured that Beast Boy's dreams reflected a deep desire to grow up, just like his friends. She also figured that whatever his scientist parents had done in order to save his life when he was a child, well, it had most likely stunted his growth somehow, along with turning his skin green.

In recent months, however, Raven found herself looking forward to the nights when she shared Beast Boy's dreams. Was she crazy for enjoying her time with a clearly imaginary version of Beast Boy? It certainly wreaked havoc on the fine control she held over her emotions. She'd been initiating contact with him more frequently during the past few months, such as that desperate hug she'd given him after that night when Fear had slipped its bonds and stalked the Tower.

And that night after the Man-Beast had been suppressed. Oh, that had certainly been a disaster.

_Raven had finally located him down on the rocks, exactly the same place he'd gone with Terra all those times. She knew this because she'd watched them._

"_So . . . he was the one who hurt you, right?"_

_Raven started. He must have heard her approach, despite her attempts at stealth. He sounded pathetically worried, desperate for reassurance. She couldn't resist it, really._

"_He broke into the tower to attack you," she told him, clutching her shoulder, steadying her shaky hands in her cloak. "And wound up attacking me too."_

_There was a long silence, so she sat down next to him and glanced surreptitiously out of the corner of her eyes at him. His facial expression was unreadable, which frightened Raven a little._

"_Ugh!" he muttered in sudden disgust. "I can't believe I ate meat." He frowned and finally gave Raven a quick, sad glance. "I acted like a jerk. I'm sorry." Then he resumed staring down at the water sluicing up onto the rocks._

"_You weren't yourself," Raven replied as gently as she could manage._

"_Cyborg says the chemicals at the lab messed with my DNA," Beast Boy continued, refusing to meet her gaze. "Unleashed something . . . primal."_

_Raven shivered. She remembered the mix of fear and . . . something else . . . she'd felt when the green Man-Beast had hauled her up off the floor, cradling her protectively to his thickly-furred chest, so close she could feel his growls rumbling next to her cheek. She ground her teeth together against the remembrance. Mind on the present. "And he gave you an antidote," she said. "You're better now."_

_Beast Boy grimaced. "Yeah, but that thing, that _beast_, it came from inside me," he said quietly. "And it's still there. I can feel it."_

"_Good," snapped Raven. She was suddenly angry. "If it wasn't for that beast, I might not be here right now." She sighed and calmed herself a little. "Having that thing inside you doesn't make you an animal. Knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man." Damn, she knew she shouldn't have said it the moment the words left her mouth._

_It was worth it, she realized a moment later, when he suddenly beamed at her, his cocky grin resurfacing for the first time all day. "Hmm," he said, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Maybe you should call me . . . Beast _Man_ from now on!" He posed, a big, stupidly cheesy grin on his face._

_Raven managed to keep a straight face throughout it all. "We're having a moment here," she deadpanned. "Don't ruin it."_

_He dropped back down to his seat on the rock, perhaps a few inches closer to Raven. She could feel heat radiating from him._

"_Beast . . . Dude?" he suggested with a smile she found both aggravating and endearing._

_Raven rolled her expressive eyes. "Ugh."_

_Instead of responding, Beast Boy simply sidled closer and leaned his head against her shoulder. Raven instantly stiffened. "What are you . . ."_

_Beast Boy smirked charmingly at her and cut her off. "Shh," he said. "Moment, remember?" His hand covered hers, a sharp contrast to the cool stone beneath. "Don't ruin it."_

Okay, looking back on it, it hadn't been a disaster in the traditional sense, but Beast Boy seemed to have taken her friendly concern as something more significant.

_And I may be a _little_ attracted to him in dreams,_ she told herself. _But I'm certainly not interested in the immature little brat he usually is during waking hours._

It was a statement to cling to, she realized. If she reminded herself that she was _not_ interested in Beast Boy in _that way_, then it would be easier to stave off awkwardness. And if he, at any point, decided to try for something more, well, she'd just deal with it when the problem arose.

He was her best friend (aside from Starfire, of course), and she would do her best to let him down easy.

Raven smiled and stood up from her meditative stance, stretching her back out with a series of loud crackles.

It felt good to have things settled.

Next Up: Months later, a series of events lead to a reevaluation of Raven's resolution. In other news, Robin gets laid and Beast Boy stares down the front of Raven's shirt. Ahem.


	2. The Hours Between

Notes: Note the date here, kids. It's ten or so months later. There's a reason. I think. Bleh. Some of the rating comes into play here. Beware the teenage hormones!

Insert appropriate disclaimer here

**The Man Without**

Chapter 2 – The Hours Between

February 19th

Titan Tower bore witness to more arguments, spats, conflicts, bickering fights and shouting matches than perhaps any other superheroic headquarters in the world. The reason for this lies in the unusual youth of the Tower's residents. The good-natured quarreling between Beast Boy and Cyborg over the comparative merits of veganism were nothing compared to the howling anger that occasionally swept through the halls when one or another of the Titans were on a teenage rampage. Cyborg regularly left oil tracks in the hallway that Beast Boy cleaned with obsessive meticulousness, prompting frequent snits and slightly less frequent fistfights. It was well-known that Raven transformed into a vicious harpy if disturbed during her meditation, likely to randomly detonate household objects in her anger, but Starfire took to joining her friend in meditative exercises, and Starfire's wrath was much, much worse. Even Robin, who adored Starfire to the point of arrant idiocy, screamed obscenities at her when she clogged the shower drain for the fifth time in as many days.

Such aggression usually found a more constructive outlet in, say, the apprehension of vicious criminals. Unfortunately, no team of superheroes can patrol 24 hours a day. They must sleep and eat and meditate and play video games in between the heroics.

It's in these small hours between, when tensions and hormones and aggression run rampant, that we find our story.

Exactly one week before Raven's nineteenth birthday, Starfire announced that it was time for another metamorphic chrysalis. After the trauma of the last time, it was decided that it would be best for Starfire to remain in her room for the duration of the chrysalid stage.

Robin, of course, visited her frequently during those long hours. Raven would sometimes arrive for a visit only to find that her time with her unconscious friend had been preempted by a moody Boy Wonder moping around Starfire's bed. His worry was palpable.

"There's no need to be so down, Robin," Raven called out when she'd finally had enough.

Robin didn't look surprised to see her lurking in the doorway. "It's been four days, Raven," he said, staring at the sleek shell of Starfire's chrysalis. "Last time it took a matter of hours. What if something's gone wrong? What if she's dying?"

Raven placed a hand soothingly on Robin's shoulder. "We don't know enough about Tamaranian physiology to worry, at this point, Robin," she replied. "And Starfire didn't seem worried when it started, so I think we should just wait it out."

Robin sighed.

"And you should eat," Raven told him.

"Yes, Mom," Robin muttered, rising from his seat and heading for the door.

"I'll keep an eye on her for a while," Raven said. "So don't worry. I don't sense any distress from her, so I think she's fine."

Robin smiled. "Thanks."

Not thirty seconds after Robin had left the room, there was a crunching noise and a long crack appeared in the glossy outer casing of the chrysalis. A damp, golden-skinned fist punched its way through a moment later.

"Holy shit," Raven said as Starfire pulled herself out of the dripping wreckage of her chrysalis.

"There is something wrong, Friend Raven?" Starfire asked, her voice slightly husky. Droplets of liquid the color of honey slid down her bare skin, merely emphasizing not only how very naked Starfire was, but also her body had changed. Aside from longer legs and an additional cup size, Starfire had gained a sort of knowing look in her eye, a look that Raven might have called 'predatory' had she not known her friend as well as she did.

"Nothing's wrong, Starfire," Raven finally said, tearing her eyes away from her friend's newly developed body.

"You keep staring at me," Starfire noted, leaning closer. "What are you thinking, dear friend?"

Raven suddenly caught a hint at Starfire's emotional state. "Oh, shit," she said eloquently before standing up so fast her chair fell over.

Starfire gave her a smoldering look up through her long eyelashes.

"I'm going to go get Robin, Star," she said hurriedly. "Stay here."

Starfire pouted and tossed her hair back over her shoulder, but didn't seem inclined to move.

Raven shot out of the room in search of the team's leader.

"She's not hurt or anything, right?" Robin asked desperately once Raven found him in the common room eating a sandwich.

"No, she seems fine, but she needs you there with her," Raven temporized.

Robin sped up and skidded around the corner and into Starfire's room. "Starfire!" he called.

"I'm in the bath, Robin," Starfire said throatily from the bathroom. "Come on in, though."

Robin bolted for the bathroom door.

"Good luck, Rob," Raven called before backing out through the door and locking it behind her. "I think you're going to need it," she added to herself.

The last thing she heard from Star's room before she headed back toward the common room was Robin's muffled, "Oh, my god!" and then a splash.

Robin never told anyone about what happened that afternoon behind Starfire's closed door. But _something_ happened in that missing two and a half hours between the time when Raven shoved him into Starfire's room and the moment when a glaze-eyed Robin drifted through the common room in search of food, exhausted, drained, but grinning like a madman.

"You _know_ they did the deed," Cyclops said authoritatively once the Boy Wonder was out of earshot again. He was currently winning a game of gin rummy with Raven and Beast Boy.

"'The deed?'" Raven repeated. "What are you, eight years old?" She wore an expression of utter disdain on her face.

"You mean you don't think they were humping like bunnies?" Beast Boy asked, attempting to look innocent.

Raven absently decked him and played her turn out. "We shouldn't speculate about our friends," she noted primly. "Besides, I had a hard enough time blocking out the psychic echoes of Starfire's orgasmic howls without you two nattering on like two gossipy old ladies."

Cyborg and Beast Boy stared at her in complete and utter shock.

"Wha – ?" Beast Boy finally managed.

"You mean you were listening in on them?" Cyborg wrinkled the flesh side of his nose. "That's sick, Rae."

"It's not like I want to hear it!" Raven snapped. "All that meditation's made Starfire a lot more psychically noisy. She's fucking hard to shield out." Her normally pale cheeks flushed in a way that both boys would probably agree was rather fetching.

"Dude, that sucks," Beast Boy consoled her, patting her back while trying not to psychically project how much he enjoyed the view down the front of her tank top.

"I can't wait until everyone in the Tower finishes growing up," Raven said with a long- suffering sigh. "I'm tired of being privy to the dreams of all you oversexed lunatics."

Beast Boy looked horrified. "You watch my dreams?"

"It's not my choice!" Raven snarled.

"Ha!" Cyborg said, pointing at Beast Boy. "I guess someone over there has some naughty dreams." He snickered. "At least I'm a robot and don't have to deal with that kind of shit."

Raven gave Cyborg a Look.

"What?" he said innocently.

"Why don't you tell Beast Boy about that dream you had last night about that girl, Jinx?" Raven suggested with a hint of a smirk.

"Eeew! Jinx?!" The green boy howled with laughter while Cyborg just looked humiliated.

"And don't even get me started on the lunacy that goes on in Beast Boy's dreams . . ." Raven continued.

Beast Boy leaped onto her back and slapped both hands over her mouth. "Raven!" he whined, horrified.

"Mmph," said Raven.

"Way to go Beast Boy!" Starfire cheered upon entering the living room and spotting Beast Boy clinging to Raven's back with his arm's wound around her head.

"Star, this probably isn't the best time," Cyborg noted, a little warningly, as he watched Raven attempt to peel Beast Boy from her.

Starfire watched Beast Boy and Raven for a moment before raising an eyebrow and calmly asking, "Or is it Raven who has finally decided to seduce Beast Boy? I still don't really understand the mating rituals of your planet." She cinched the sash of her short robe a little more securely. She looked delightfully rumpled.

All movement ceased in the common room.

A lamp exploded.

"I'm. Not. Seducing. Beast Boy," Raven ground out before finally pulling the boy in question from her back and flinging him across the table.

"Oh, I must have misunderstood your actions, Friend Raven," Starfire replied, pursing her lips. "I'm afraid that my mind incorrectly interpreted the scene because I just had a lot of sex with Robin." She smiled sunnily and sauntered over to the refrigerator.

"Holy shit," Cyborg muttered.

"You said it, bro," Beast Boy agreed, hauling himself back into his chair.

"You didn't hurt him, did you, Star?" Raven asked suspiciously. "I didn't think you would, but I don't know much about Tamaranians and your, um."

"Mating procedures?" Starfire suggested mildly.

"Er," said Raven.

"Oh, Robin is perfectly fine. A little tired, that's all." Starfire pulled a fresh bottle of mustard from the fridge and took a long drink. "Did you see where he went? I wasn't done with him and he should be rested again by now."

"I think he went to his room to pass out," Raven told her.

"Thank you, Friend Raven," Starfire said before walking over to Raven and kissing her full on the mouth.

The boys gaped in astonishment.

Perhaps thirty seconds later Raven finally managed to pull away. "Uh . . ."

"Thank you for visiting me while I was undergoing my transformation, dear friend," the Tamaranian girl said with a beatific smile. "It also meant a lot to me that you delivered Robin to me afterward."

"Hey, I visited you too, Star," Cyborg began. "Does that mean that I get . . ."

"Shut up, dude," Beast Boy interrupted, elbowing him with a clunk of bone against steel. "It we're quiet, they might forget we're here and start making out again." He grinned blissfully. "This'll fuel my fantasy life for _weeks_."

Not much of either Robin or Starfire was seen for the next several days. Raven took charge of patrolling and between herself, Cyborg and Beast Boy, they kept crime in check in Jump City. Inside the Tower, there was a palpable tension in the air as the three active Titans learned to adjust to the changes in the relationship of Robin and Starfire.

The absence of a good portion of the team meant that Raven and Beast Boy began to spend a great deal of time alone together. Raven had spent months avoiding being alone with the shifter only to find that Starfire's hormones would blow the whole process. It wasn't exactly that Raven didn't want to be around Beast Boy, because she still cared for him a great deal. But he'd seemed encouraged by their banter after the Chrysalis Incident and had resumed his shameless flirting.

Her unwanted intrusion into his dreams had grown more frequent as well.

On the eve of Raven's nineteenth birthday, she found herself once again pulled into Beast Boy's dream.

One nice thing about Beast Boys dreams was his portrayal of herself. Whenever _Robin_ included Raven in his weird little crime-fighting-turned-sex-romp dreams, she was always leggier, bustier, and generally friendlier. In Beast Boy's dreams, Raven was exactly as she always was, short and cold and generally at least a little cranky.

"Happy Birthday!" Beast Boy told her before transforming to a puppy and jumping into her lap so he could lick her face.

"Stop licking me," Dream Raven grated out, trying not to giggle. They were seated together on the couch in the living room of the Tower, but no one else was in sight.

Beast Boy shifted back to his normal dream self: tall, lanky, and charming. He sprawled across Dream Raven's lap. "I have a special present for you," he said with mock-seriousness.

Raven raised an eyebrow. "Does it involve something noisy? Your presents usually do . . ."

He leaned his head up and kissed the underside of her chin. "It might turn out noisy," he said with a wicked smile. "But I think you'll like it anyway."

The living room of the Tower melted away and they were suddenly somewhere in the jungle. The two of them were still seated together, but they were now nestled with their backs against a huge tree, feet dangling into a waterfall-fed pool.

"It's beautiful, Beast Boy," Raven said, her gaze soft as she looked around the small clearing.

"It's all for you, Raven," Beast Boy said. "But the scenery's not your present." He suddenly pushed her into the water and cleanly dove in after her.

"What the _hell_?" Raven demanded as she broke the surface. Her cloak tangled wetly around her arms and her leotard stuck to her in uncomfortable places.

Beast Boy was suddenly in front of her, pushing her back against the rocky bank, one hand ensuring that she didn't move, the other wound in her short, wet hair. "The water's nice," he purred in her ear.

Dream Raven was used to such things from Beast Boy. She seemed to melt a little in his grasp, then tilted her face up to meet his kiss, mouth opening beneath his.

Both Beast Boy and Raven's clothes disappeared soon afterward.

The real Raven, a trapped observer in her friend's dream, was, as usual, very uncomfortable. Robin and Cyborg had very traditional sexual fantasies, and hell, even Robin's occasional dreams about getting under Raven's leotard were almost comfortably normal. Beast Boy, however, fantasized about not only screwing Raven, but loving her. And her regular eavesdropping on his dreams was wreaking havoc with her emotional stability. She'd never really returned his adolescent crush, but she he was still her dearest friend. His affection for her strained their relationship at times. She cared deeply for him, but it was difficult to be truly attracted to a boy who looked and acted like a twelve-year-old.

_Except in dreams_, she reminded herself as she watched the sleek muscles of the dreaming changeling's back shift as he gently rocked against Dream Raven.

Against her will and better reason, Raven, the cool observer, was forced to admit that she rather enjoyed certain portions of Beast Boy's dreams. The imaginary adult Beast Boy was handsome in a way that Raven generally didn't like to acknowledge.

_This has to stop_, she told herself, feeling heat rise to her face and settle in her abdomen. _I'm attracted to a person who doesn't quite exist, a man with the personality of my best friend and the body that he dreams about._

With a tremendous effort, Raven wrenched her mind from the dream and into wakefulness. She sat bolt upright in bed, panting, trying to gather her thoughts and calm her rebellious body.

A glance at her alarm clock told her that it was really too early to be awake, but she knew that if she went back to sleep she would be treated to the continuing love affair between Beast Boy's dream self and his vision of herself. It would be too difficult to watch. She'd had about enough of her imaginary paramour for one night.

Raven stood up and wrapped herself in a long robe before fetching a glass of water from the bathroom she shared with Starfire. As she was stepping back into her room she noted the sliver of light shining from beneath Beast Boy's door.

_Did my abrupt departure from his dream disrupt his mind enough to wake him? _Raven wondered, padding toward his room instead of her own.

"You awake?" she asked quietly, rapping softly on the door.

From inside, Beast Boy made a noise that sounded like it might have been assent, so Raven took a deep breath and pushed her way into the room.

She noticed, almost immediately, just what was out of place.

The reading lamp had been left on and there, lying sprawled and tangled among the sheets was a young man who was most certainly _not_ the Beast Boy she regularly bickered with every morning over cereal. This man was much taller, though still slim and fine-boned. He had heavier musculature than Beast Boy and his shoulders were broader, tapering down to narrow hips. The white tank top he wore seemed a couple sizes too small and the bottom hem rode up a little, revealing a flat stomach and a line of hair stretching from the waistband of his boxers to his navel. Every inch of his skin was green.

If Raven thought there was some way to accelerate the growth of Beast Boy, to somehow transform his barely-pubescent body into this man's . . . but there wasn't, so it was a moot point. More important was the fact that the young man who was still sleeping in Beast Boy's bed was quite obviously the same person who Raven had just watched seduce her in Beast Boy's dream.

"Oh, sweet Azar," she murmured in shock.

"Raven," the man sighed in his sleep, generous mouth curling into a contented smile.

Next Up: The morning after. That's always fun. Will Raven finally confront Beast Boy about whatever the hell's going on? Will Robin and Starfire emerge from the bedroom for more than a few minutes at a time? Will poor, dear Cyborg continue to get remarkably little screen time in this story?


	3. The Waking Beast

Notes: Wow. I got something like 20 reviews in the first 24 hours after posting this story, which is possibly a record for the first chapter of a story. I guess the TT fandom is really active. shrugs I don't know how fast this story will come out, but I _think_ I know where it's going, so that's a good sign. Some of the reviewers brought up some interesting points (particularly Pokemon Fan), most of which will eventually be touched upon in this story. So, uh, here goes with Chapter 3 of "The Man Without."

Insert appropriate disclaimer here

**The Man Without**

Chapter 3 – The Waking Beast

Late February

"Hey, where's Raven?" Beast Boy asked the next morning of the only other person in the common room.

"No idea, man," Cyborg replied drowsily he absently salted his coffee.

"You look like shit, Cy," Beast Boy told him.

"Didn't sleep much last night," Cyborg replied. He took a sip of his coffee, grimaced, then took another longer drink.

Beast Boy nodded sagely. "Yeah, your room's right next to Starfire's." He looked sympathetic.

"So much noise!" Cyborg mumbled woefully. "I thought I'd put enough soundproofing in the walls but apparently Earth has yet to invent a substance that can block out the screeching of a Tamaranian in heat." He shook a little more salt into his coffee.

"Tough luck, dude," Beast Boy said, clapping a consoling hand on his friend's shoulder. "I'm going to go look for Raven . . ."

"Is something up with Raven?" Cyborg asked.

". . . Not really," Beast Boy admitted. "It's her birthday, though. I want to show her the present I got."

Cyborg cursed colorfully. "It's her birthday again already? Shit, how old is she? Eighteen, now?"

"Nineteen," Beast Boy corrected promptly.

"Damn. What the hell am I going to get on such short notice?" Cyborg set his coffee down and began massaging his temples, both the flesh one and the cybernetic one. "What'd you get for her? She generally either loves your presents or she sets them on fire."

Beast Boy shrugged. "It's a secret this year." A slow blush crept across his cheekbones.

Cyborg raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" He suddenly laughed. "You gonna tell her how you feel about her?"

The younger boy scowled. "Don't be stupid, Cy."

"Oh, well, it was worth a shot," Cyborg said airily. "What do you think I should get for her? Think she'd go for clothes or something like that?"

"As long as you're careful. She liked the coat I got her last year, but the lingerie I got her the year before that was torched, I think," Beast Boy replied, sounding a little distracted. "She's a size 8, and a 34C, in case you were wondering."

Cyborg shot him a sideways glance. "You know her bra size?"

"Sometimes it's best not to ask, my friend," Beast Boy sighed with a shrug. "I'm going to go up on the roof to look for her. See you later and wish me luck."

"I think you'll need it," Cyborg told him.

Beast Boy trooped out of the common room and took the elevator to the roof. As expected, Raven was calmly levitating near one edge, the wind sliding through her hair and ruffling her cloak. Also meditating on the roof was Starfire, whose mere presence was nearly enough to send Beast Boy back downstairs.

"What do you want, Beast Boy?" Raven asked quietly when he got within earshot.

Starfire cracked open one green eye and then the other. "Beast Boy!" she caroled. "You have come to join us in the meditating?" Her expression suddenly turned wicked. "Or were you hoping for something a little less cerebral?" She licked her lips.

Beast Boy felt his face heat up and turned instead to Raven, who looked slightly irritated. _Guess I should have known better than to interrupt morning meditation_, he thought glumly.

"Er," said Beast Boy.

"Spit it out," grumbled Raven.

"Happy Birthday," Beast boy said, a little more cheerfully. "Um."

Raven scowled.

"Yes, this celebration of Raven's birth certainly _will_ be happy," Starfire added, taking the opportunity to pull Raven into a quick, full-body embrace. She leaned in to kiss the birthday girl but Raven pulled away.

"Robin's probably not going to like it if you keep trying to make out with me, Star," Raven told her friend.

"Oh, he won't mind," Starfire replied cheerfully, her hand gently cupping Raven's cheek. "He understands that it is how I show affection, now that I am a full adult. And you are one of my closest friends."

"You're not friends with me?" Beast Boy asked, trying to look both pathetic and manly.

"Oh, I am," said Starfire with a sunny smile. "But Robin has threatened to 'castrate' any other boy who kisses me." She mimed quotation marks in the air.

Beast Boy paled to a sort of minty-green color.

Raven rolled her eyes. "But it's okay for you to kiss girls, eh? Rob's such a pervert."

Starfire gave a wistful sigh. "Yeah. Isn't it sweet?"

Her two friends stared at her oddly.

"Well, I guess I'll go wake Robin up," Starfire continued. "He should have gotten enough sleep by now." She floated over the edge of the roof and out of sight.

"I hope Starfire gets herself under control a little soon," Beast Boy said once the Tamaranian was out of sight. "She's been kind of creeping me out."

Raven laughed quietly; it was a surprisingly mellow sound. "Hey, at least she hasn't been mauling you periodically." Raven tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I haven't quite managed to explain to her that you usually don't make out with your best friend."

Beast Boy flopped down onto the roof next to Raven. "I guess it's just how she shows affection."

"It's nice to know she cares," Raven continued. "But I really need to sit her down and explain the difference between friends and _special_ friends."

_Speaking of _special_ friends_, Beast Boy thought, taking a deep breath.

"I actually came up here to tell you about your birthday present, Raven," he said with a slightly sheepish smile.

Raven scowled prettily through her blush. "Oh?" she replied, voice hoarse.

"Yeah, but it's a surprise, and we have to go downtown for me to give it to you," Beast Boy answered.

"Beast Boy, if this is some kind of joke . . ." Raven began.

"No, no, I'm serious, Rae," Beast Boy assured her, waving his hands. "I've sort of got a whole day planned out. We never do stuff together anymore, just the two of us." He took stock of Raven's less-than-interested expression and hurried on. "And it'll just be a sort of lunchtime kind of thing, so we'll be back this evening in time for . . . er . . ."

"The 'party of surprises' that Starfire has planned for this evening?" Raven murmured.

"Hey, you weren't supposed to know about that!" Beast Boy wrinkled his nose. "Anyway, and if we go out for a while, it'll give Cyborg time to get you a birthday present . . ."

"He forgot _again_?"

". . . And by this evening, Robin might even be able to walk again, and then he'd be able to join in for the party." Beast Boy paused for breath. "So what do you think?"

"This isn't a . . . date, is it?" Raven asked suspiciously, a weird expression on her face.

"Um . . ." said Beast Boy.

Raven's emptied tea cup exploded.

"No! Not a date. Just friends." Beast Boy grinned the manic grin of the slightly terrified.

"Then I'd love to go," Raven replied, climbing to her feet and stretching. "I'll be ready in a half hour."

Once she had disappeared, Beast Boy let out a whoop of triumph, flopped over onto is back and grinned stupidly at the sky. "I am the _MAN_," he told himself contentedly.

They ended up taking the T-Car for their not-date, and Raven herself was largely responsible for this.

"You are _not_ taking my baby for a joyride downtown," Cyborg had declared firmly.

"Hey, I hear you forgot my birthday again," Raven had replied. And that was that.

Traffic was light, which made the ride only slightly less hair-raising.

"Oh, god, watch out for that old lady, Beast Boy!" Raven shrieked as they flashed through another intersection.

"No worries," Beast Boy said with a smarmy smile. "I've got it covered."

"Remind me again why I'm letting you drive?" Raven muttered.

"'Cause I'm the one who knows how to get there," Beast Boy replied smugly as he accelerated.

"Nuclear family at 2:00! Oh, shiiiiit!" Raven finally closed her eyes.

"Stop being so twitchy, Rae," Beast Boy said. "There's nothing to be afraid . . . Oh, crap!" he howled.

Raven peeked past her hand to see an absolutely clear roadway and a giggling Beast Boy. "You're so easy to tease," he said.

"I'm going to hurt you severely," Raven threatened.

Beast Boy swerved around a college student on a moped.

"But not until I'm out of the car," Raven continued.

They did not, in fact, hit anyone or anything throughout the entire drive to the Jump City Botanical Gardens.

"We're going in that big greenhouse there," Beast Boy said, gesturing to the glittering glass building at the center of the complex. "The new exhibit there isn't open to the public yet, but I did a favor for one of the head guys working on it and he's going to let us in today."

Beast Boy neatly parked the car and led Raven toward the building. "Once we get inside, I want you to close your eyes until we get to the spot."

Raven looked skeptical.

"Oh, just do it, Rae," Beast Boy said, holding the door open for her. "It'll be more fun that way. I promise."

"Whatever," Raven said. She did, however, close her eyes and allow herself to be led by the hand.

For a while they walked on what sounded like a wooden boardwalk, then Beast Boy led her off the path and through leafy undergrowth for a ways. There was a gurgling sound, like rushing water over smooth stones and the scent of exotic flowers and damp earth filled Raven's nostrils. In the distance there was the slightly incongruous sound of common sparrows calling to each other.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now," Beast Boy told her.

Raven complied and the sight took her breath away.

"Oh, god," she choked, her gaze taking in the pool and the waterfall and the smooth boulders and the huge tree.

Beast Boy was seated on one of the huge rocks, his bare feet dangling in the clear water of the pool. His back was to the tree and the artificial jungle loomed all around. His expression was one of supreme satisfaction with a slight hint of nervousness.

"Was that a good 'oh, god' or a bad one?" he asked.

It was exactly like Beast Boy's dream, only now there was a picnic spread out nearby and her companion was his usual youthful-looking self.

"It's . . . beautiful, Beast Boy," Raven said, finding her voice.

"It's all for you, Raven," Beast Boy said. "But the scenery's not your present." He moved toward her.

Raven, remembering with complete clarity the details of Beast Boy's dream, took a step back, not quite willing to be flung into the water and then seduced.

Beast Boy reached around her and dug two bottles of soda out of a picnic basket. "You're jumpy, Raven," he commented, handing one of the bottles to her. "What's up? Do you really not like it?" He sat back down at the water's edge and tossed his feet back in. "I thought I'd show you a little something of my childhood in Africa. I spent a lot of time in forests like the one they've put together here." He took a gulp of soda. "This is supposed to be their rainforest exhibit, but it's a lot cleaner than real rainforests. Fewer bugs too . . ." He glanced sideways at Raven. "You sure you're okay?"

"How'd you sleep last night?" Raven asked suddenly.

"Uh, fine, I guess," Beast Boy replied. "Why?"

"Any dreams that you remember?" continued the girl.

"Not really anything I remember clearly," Beast Boy replied, looking even more confused. "I woke up in a really good mood, though. Must have been nice dreams, whatever they were."

Raven relaxed slightly and sat down next to Beast Boy, pulling off her boots and socks and dangling her bare toes in the chilly water. "I remember your dream last night," Raven continued.

Beast Boy blushed. "Ugh, I can't believe you actually eavesdrop on people's dreams."

"I wish I didn't," Raven said honestly. "Particularly yours," she lied.

Her friend paled. "Oh. Sorry."

"Don't take it the wrong way," Raven explained. "But it's just a little weird how often I'm in your dreams."

Beast Boy continued to blush furiously.

"But last night, in the dream, you brought me here." Raven glanced sideways at the shape-shifter.

"Oh, I guess that's why you kind of freaked out when you saw the place," Beast Boy said with a hesitant little laugh. "Was it, um, a romantic dream?"

"Yes," said Raven, her face heating up.

"Oh," said Beast Boy.

There was silence between them for a long moment, the rushing water filling the space with white noise.

"Your dreams are weird, though," Raven spoke up. "You never look the way you do now."

Every muscle in Beast Boy's back suddenly tensed, then deliberately relaxed. If Raven hadn't been watching him, she might not have noticed.

"Weird," was all Beast Boy said in reply, though his voice was a little hoarse.

"Anyway, last night I woke up from the dream when it got a little, um, uncomfortable for me," Raven continued.

Beast Boy blushed to the tips of his pointed ears.

"And I noticed that there was a light on in your room, so I went to go see if you were awake and wanted to talk or something . . ."

"Oh, shit," said Beast Boy.

"Yeah, I saw you," Raven said.

"Well, damn," Beast boy added.

Again, silence.

"So what the hell's up with you?" Raven asked as she unscrewed the top of her bottle of soda. "Which one's the real Beast Boy?"

Several emotions flickered across Beast Boy's face. "It's complicated . . ."

Raven lost her temper. "No, it isn't! It's a very, very simple question, Beast Boy. And I'd like to know the answer." She leaned closer and poked him in the chest. "Which one is real, this body or the one you wear at night when you dream?"

It was a good thing that Beast Boy tended to wear baggy, skater-boy-type clothes when not in uniform, because a moment later he was filling them out considerably better. His shoulders broadened and his body lengthened. Sleek muscles filled out his t-shirt and cargo pants.

"Okay, I guess that's my answer," Raven said, a little startled. She leaned back against the tree.

"Yeah, this is what I really look like," Beast Boy finally said, scratching his slightly stubbly chin.

"Well, at least that's one fucked up puzzle from your dreams that's solved now," Raven murmured. "I never knew you could change the appearance of your human body. Though I'm not really sure why you parade around during the waking hours in the body of a twelve-year-old."

"Like I said, it's complicated," Beast Boy said with a smile that was somehow both ashamed and relieved. It was this odd mix of boy and man that Raven found so intriguing about Beast Boy's dream self. She wondered, for the first time, whether she'd been underestimating Beast Boy the whole time she'd known him.

"Well, you might as well start explaining, then," Raven said with one of her rare smiles. "We aren't expected back at the Tower for hours and honestly, what else did you think we were going to do other than eat lunch?"

"Uh, actually I was planning on seeing if you'd let me kiss you," Beast Boy admitted.

"Don't press your luck," she growled.

"Ahem. Anyway," began Beast Boy. "I've always been kinda scrawny, and I looked like a little kid until I was about fifteen. That was when two different things happened. First, I found out that I could not only shift into the shapes of different animals, but I could change my human appearance. Second, I started getting a bunch of zits."

Raven raised an eyebrow.

"So, I was kind of vain at the time, so I just shifted into the way my body was before the zits," Beast Boy continued, trying to ignore Raven's amused expression. "And then after that, I hit a growth spurt, but had to keep covering it up because of my skin. And then by that point, my real body was different enough from my pre-zit one that it was just too embarrassing to have to switch back. And I couldn't quite figure out how to slowly ease into my real body without making anyone suspicious . . ."

"Wait a second," Raven interrupted. "Are you saying that you've been hiding in the body of a little boy for the last three years because it had _clear skin_?!"

Beast Boy shrugged.

"You, my friend, are by far one of the weirdest people I know," declared Raven, throwing her hands into the air in exasperation. "I can't believe you'd hide a body like _that_ because you were too stubborn to admit you were vain when you were fifteen."

Beast Boy perked up. "You like the way I look?"

"Did I say that?" Raven said evasively.

"Cause you really sounded like it," Beast Boy continued. "Does that mean that maybe the kissing's back on the schedule for the afternoon?"

"You are incorrigible," she told him. "And the answer is 'no.'"

"Aw," pouted the green-skinned boy next to her.

"Despite your grown-up body, you still act like a little kid," Raven noted with a faint smile. "Why do you act like an adult only when you're asleep?"

Beast Boy leaned close suddenly, invading Raven's personal space in a way he rarely did outside of dreams. "Wouldn't you like to know, eh?"

Raven sniffed and rolled her eyes. "Boy are you full of it."

"Yup," said Beast Boy before he reached over and began emptying the picnic basket with his usual enthusiasm.

Next Up: Not everything's coming up roses. Raven attempts the earth-shattering task of convincing Beast Boy to permanently discard his 15-year-old disguise. Beast Boy attempts the even more difficult task of wooing Raven some more. And a "party of surprises" takes place. Oh, and Cyborg finally gets Raven a present, saving his sorry ass.


End file.
